The unpredictable joys of married life are sometimes found in the petite smile Sarah gives me. She kinda scrunches her neck, shoulders slightly more tense and upward than normal. Her thin eyebrows inch themselves up synchronized with the movement of her shoulders. With her deep hazel-blue-green eyes, and the ends of her closed mouth perched, I can't help but laugh within myself because its the same look every time.
It's the look she's gives me after she tells me she forgot her purse in the car or her iPad. When its the iPad she usually remembers right before bed because its the time when she plugs it in to charge for the next day of work. By then, though, my socks are off, and I am ready for bed. But, I can't make her go get it.
It's not that she means to leave things behind, or forget her keys, or take my keys when hers are hidden within the black hole of a purse she has leaving me with no keys. She really does try. I know she does. And I think her dad would agree with me that for 22 years she has made an effort to try, but in the midst of her effort, it's just the way she is.
Yes, there are times when I get tired of getting the iPad from the cold car or whatever. But when that smile comes that says… "Honey… I love you, and I'm just too cute, and I'm your wife." I can't help but fall more in love with her. As I walk down those long stairs, ducking through the cobweb filled basement, to the rugged outside, I break the icicles off the car door handles to tug the frozen shut door just to get the iPad. Then trekking through the cobweb jungle back up to our cozy home, I return with the iPad (no exaggeration was needed to describe my journey). It's just that look; it gets me every time.
What made me think of this was Psalm 40:11-13.
Do not withhold your mercy from me, Lord; may your love and faithfulness always protect me. For troubles without number surround me; my sins have overtaken me, and I cannot see. They are more than the hairs of my head, and my heart fails within me. Be pleased to save me, Lord; come quickly, Lord, to help me. (Psalm 40:11-13 NIV)
As you can see, Sarah and I's marriage is very similar to David's relationship with The Lord. She is indebted to me forever! No really, but in all seriousness, David's offenses against The Lord were many. He even says it himself, they are apparently more than the hairs on his head. But David never doubted that looking toward The Lord would save him. He looked up to heaven, with the look on his face and said, "Be pleased to save me, Lord; come quickly, Lord, to help me."
Now I don't know if The Lord would use the word "cute" to describe us, but the little ounce of delight I have for Sarah in moments where I could get frustrated, I know is divine emotion worked within me, and God feels it on a much grander scale. God delights when we come to him. David knew that, and it caused him to have confidence when coming before God. Those moments of extending mercy are golden moments for God. If God had a full steel tank that contained his emotion for delight, it would burst in those moments.
God loves extending mercy to us. I think it's one of His favorite things to do. We have no reason to hide ourselves from God, because, friends, He is overjoyed to give us mercy.
Disclaimer: While parts of this analogy are effective, I by no means am trying to communicate that Sarah sins against me when she forgets things. She also has approved this post.
I love love love your post today Jordan! I so know that look and miss it, now that your guys are married. I can’t count the times I saw that look right before she would say something like “Mom I forgot my English book at school and my papers’ due tomorrow” at 9:00 at night when everyone is calming down for the night. I have to say I do miss those times – and that look. Of course her Dad usually got the “big” ones like her Freshman year at ONU – she was always forgetting things at home. He would be driving to bring her things she forgot twice a week sometimes. I’m sure when she opened the door he would get that look and just sigh and melt then give her a hug and the oh so important item she left at home, turn around and drive the hour back home. Sorry Jordan, I guess you can say Nick and I were Sarah’s enabler’s, since we almost always fell for the “I’m so cute and I’m your daughter” smile. I’m sure it’s not as wonderful as the one you get, as your mom said, she has a special sparkle just for you! I love you guys and miss you too!! I love this BLOG Jordan!!
You know Son,
I absolutely love that smile too. The way she shrugs her shoulders and smiles so sweetly with all of her expression, her dimples but especially her eyes. I have several pictures that capture her in those moments that I treasure! She smiled at me that way when I first saw her in her wedding dress in the dressing room and I had to fight back tears. Thank you so much for blessing me with such a beautiful daughter.
Love, Mom
I hope I just didn’t steel your thunder….you don’t have a monopoly on the recipient of that “Sarah Smile” although I will admit, I’m sure she adds a special sparkle for only you.
I know she does lol but I don’t doubt you’ve seen the look. Lol. I enjoyed writing this one.
🙂 we met with your folks the other day, it was good. You got some great parents. I thought it was funny that you mom only knew me as “Chippy” and your dad remembered me at first as the IHOP guy.
You made it sound like I was some mascot rejected by the pancake company. I had a long laugh about that. Give me a call some time you still got my number right?
hahahaha that could be the best analogy i’ve ever heard. don’t worry, i’ve only said great things about you in addition to making you sound like a rejected pancake company’s mascot. i DO have your number, and would love to talk with you soon! what days work best for you?
Pretty much any weekday after 315 central time.
Perfect. I’ll call you sometime next week!
Me too, LaDonna. I love how they share their thoughts and what God is revealing to them. We are such fortunate moms to have been blessed with these two wise and fun kids!
We should try to catch up sometime. I apologize for not staying in touch. No good excuse but would like to start talking more.
Love,
Carla
This is just what I needed to hear, Chippy. I know that what you’re talking about is true, but sometimes I just stray away from the simple fact that God loves us, delights in us, and is so patient with us! And that reminder is so refreshing. Keep being used to shine God’s light my friend. He’s growing you and Sarah to do some amazing things together, and I can’t wait to see what they are!