There are a couple questions I often hear from other missionaries. One is, “How’s the language learning coming?” I think any person coming to live long term in a foreign country should make an effort to learn the language. There really is no better way to get to know the locals, how they think, their unspoken culture rules, etc… than learning the language. Every missionary I have talked to who has been here a significant amount of time was either glad they took the time in the beginning to learn the language, or wished they had taken the time, and now they advise other to not make the same mistakes they have.
In some ways, I love this question, but I usually choose not to ask it. I love it because we ought to spur each other in learning language, and getting outside of our foreigner/church/missionary bubble. However, there is almost a comparing that goes on between missionaries. Who is the best in the language? Its as almost if its the litmus test for how good of a job you are doing. So I have chosen not to ask the question. I value learning language, but some are better at it than others, and that’s okay. Those who do the will of God are family, lets act like it.
The other question is this, “How long do you plan on staying?” This question gives us information of how we can relate to each other. Here’s the thing, missionaries are lonely people. And some times it takes twice as much effort to have joy. The missionary community is very transient. People are coming and going frequently. Many are very busy doing their ministry thing, and being away from the family and friends we grew up with causes us to feel lonely. It’s hard in invest in a relationship if it will only be for 3 months or even just a year, because hard goodbyes are anticipated even from the beginning.
Since we have moved a lot in the last year or so, we have learned two things. One is that home is not where we grew up. Home is where our Father is. Home is not a destination, it is a journey. The other lesson has been this; invest as though it was for a lifetime. I have chosen not to ask, “How long are you staying?” because there is more joy in giving your heart to people no matter how long they will be in your life. Jesus thought it worth breaking bread with Judas knowing Judas had planned to hand Him over to death within the same hour.
There is nothing inherently wrong about this particular question itself. In fact, to correct myself, I usually do ask that question. It’s just not the first thing I ask when I meet someone so I can determine how I am to relate with them.
Loving well is my goal, wherever people are at. Our Lord said, you are more blessed to give than to receive. And there is not just a little bit of truth in that.
Today, I say to you, love well, love people where they are at, and love people where you are at. Like a child, and like you are blind to whats in and around them, love people.
