Traveling the world. What are your first thoughts when you hear those words? Adventurous? Glamorous? Out of reach? Exciting? I’ve heard them all. I would agree with adventurous and exciting, but mostly my words would include: clearer vision, awakened heart, challenge, discover, endurance, courage, exhausting, privilege, exhilarating.
This is a journal entry scribbled down in my Khmer-made leather journal while we were growing roots in Cambodia. Its just a day in my life during that season as I was taking in my new home and those words above were my constant ebb and flow. We often share the exciting or the hard things. But I hope this brings you into the moments I treasure…the everyday journeys of life in Cambodia.
August, 2014
This week we are going to be in the Philippines. It will be our first time out of the country since we have entered Cambodia over five months ago. We prayed about joining the AIM conference in the Philippines and in the end surprise finances came through, friends helped us find the cheaper buses nationals use, God spoke to our hearts that He had something for us, and it would be fun (when did that stop being a reason to do something?). Also, we wanted to see people from AIM and we believed the training on Inner Healing would be beneficial. There comes a point that the Father doesn’t need to command us to do most things anymore—adoration for Him causes us to grab hold of everything He has to offer and trust He will take care of the rest. That is what brought us to Cambodia in the first place. SO, trusting He will take care of finances, our dwindling energy, tried health, and paused language learning, we excitedly said yes to His invitation.
Yesterday we found ourselves on a bus to Ho Chi Minh, Vietnam. We sent for our Vietnamese visas the week before, so there was nothing holding us back. As he dropped us off at the bus station, our good friend and tuk-tuk driver “H” wished us safe travels in Khmer. The prior evening, Jordan was hanging out with him and some other Khmer friends. During that time “H” said he would miss us—a rare vulnerable statement from him. Often leaving shows us the reality of what God has blessed us with, especially relationships.
We climbed on the bus and took our seats. I love bus rides (well, usually) because if I have the window seat, there are open doors for dreaming and thinking and having conversations with our Father about everything my eyes take in. Significant amounts of diversity and ground covered in a short (relatively speaking) time.
Today I see vibrant colors as we pass the countryside of Cambodia. The colors are stunning—rows of vibrant long grass and rice and a few corn fields. Ponds with lotus flowers and lily pads. Some tress still have vibrant orange or white flowers. The sky is bright blue and the present rainy season’s dark clouds have been exchanged for white full clouds. The sun is stronger today, even as its starting to set.
Intermingled with all the beauty is garbage along the road, buildings decaying, and statues left unfinished. In the distance, there is an elder lady with her krama wrapped around her head and a yoke over her shoulders. Each end of the yoke has bowls, utensils, pots containing remnants of cooked food, and even a stool on one end. She probably cooked the food this morning in her wooden home and sold it at the market. And now, after a long hot day, she is walking a well-trodden path home. She looks old, tired, but strong. She has witnessed and been through more hardship and tragedy than many. SHE survived the Khmer Rouge. I wonder if any of her children survived? Or did she have children after? My heart breaks for her as I wonder who and how many family members she lost? “Father,” I pray within “what is your heart for her? How do you see her?” I pray she has seen joy since those dark days. I pray she has had a chance to hear about God from someone who was willing to love her, hear her, listen to her, and instill the worth of the Lord into her and her culture. I know our Father God desires that for all of us…
…This is but a moment and we are swept on to see little kids running and playing in the dirt streets near their homes elevated on stilts. The children are so little, so innocent, so full of life. “Father,” I pray as I continue my conversation with Him, “send them protection over their life, preserve their innocence, and show them their value.”
Soon, we are crossing the river. in our bus. on a ferry. A boy who works on the ferry knocks on our window to beg. This six year old points to the bus door so we could give him money. He has dirty hair and a little boy’s smile. He is missing a shirt and shoes and I pray he isn’t missing someone to love him. “Father, do you see him?” I ask with an ache in my heart. “I see him, I’ve knew him before time began, I created him, that boy you see is created in My image, I love him.”
These ten minutes as we cross the Mekong river symbolize to me our daily struggles to break through a barrier that can’t be broken—unless you are a child of God. As this boy who carries the image of my God continuously knocks on our window, I can only hear his muffled voice and see his hand signals. I can’t break through this glass barrier. Just as every day when I listen to Khmer people, I really don’t get them and I definitely can’t reach them. I can have all the knowledge of their culture and country but I am still am not Khmer. I never will be. I may alter some values and become more like them : ), but deep down I will always be a Midwestern American girl. I can empathize, minister, listen to them, grow wonderful friendships but, only God knows their deepest hearts cry. He is the One working, I only magnify His glory and worth, His love and justice. Not until one becomes God’s child, will we share family and Kingdom culture. Although, even then, Khmer people will always shine a different aspect of God than I will. Its beautiful, really….I think that’s why I love people of other cultures: I see a different aspect of my Father in them.
Caught up in my thoughts I hardly realize we have slowed to a halt. At least 60 large trucks with at least 30-45 people each sitting on metal poles or standing in the back have created a bit of traffic. I see factories in the distance. I realize they are all getting off work. People run along the trucks selling bagged drinks and fresh fruit. A person sticks a 500R between the truck’s bars and the man selling the sugarcane juice runs alongside the moving vehicle, grabs the riel, and puts the handles of the juice bag into the empty faceless hand.
Most of the people I see work for only $70-$80/month. I wonder how they decide what food to buy and how much their daily journey home in these trucks cost. I ask the Lord to make Himself known to them and to the people who take advantage of them. My heart breaks for both—I know what awaits those who didn’t not love and reverently fear the Lord.
Eventually we escape traffic and reach the Cambodian-Vietnamese border. We are told our instructions: “passports please, off the bus, passports again, on the bus, off the bus, pick up your luggage, this line, THAT line!, take your passport when they call your name”….tick tock, tick tock…. “Saaa-Rrah!!, Jor-Daan!!” (as the only white tall people, we aren’t hard to find in the crowd). Through security, back on the bus, visa and passport check, again…really? Yes. Whew! We continue on our way….
Eventually I start to see busy streets and signs in a language that is now more foreign to me than Khmer. We are in Ho Chi Minh. It’s a different culture from Phnom Penh. I can already tell. The streets, the language, the people, the way the stores are set up, the goods sold, more cars…different. Less motos, NO tuk-tuks (sad day). There are American restaurant chains: McDonalds, Pizza hut, Dominos, Baskin Robins, Chilis, KFC, Burger King, Starbucks??!!. Suddenly, Announcement!: “the bus can’t go all the way to the bus station so all remaining passengers will be moved to a taxi.” Oh…ok! Sounds fun. So off the bus and the driver packs our bags into a taxi. Two Vietnamese women sit in the very back on/next to the luggage. Jordan, I, and two Asian men squeeeeeze into the back seat, plus 3 upfront. Fifteen minutes later the taxi drops us off at the bus station. We adventure HCM with our luggage to our little hotel. Very small, yet relatively clean, owners are friendly, just a little musty… We venture out for dinner. Five USD for some chicken rice and pho. The next morning at breakfast, we already miss Cambodia. We miss hearing Khmer, miss the people, miss the food. This “missing” may be one of many reasons God has taken us on this adventure to Philippines. Again, absence can make the heart grow even fonder. Sigh….
The next morning we are excited and ready to go! Partially to leave the musty smell but, mostly excited to continue the journey to our final destination! We arrive 3 hours early to the airport and our flight is 3 hours delayed. My hubby is the greatest travel buddy ever :), so its ok. We land and get a taxi by divine appointment and head off to our guesthouse—a 45 min drive. I drift off to sleep and just before 1:00a.m. Jordan gently wakes me, as we have arrived. As I rub my eyes, all I see is a light dimly illuminating a turquoise door standing in contrast to the large slate stone wall which envelopes it. Eventually, a friendly Filipino face opens the door and we trustingly walk through laying eyes on home for the next week.
The next thing I know, it’s morning. I take a moment to praise Him for sleep, though I am still tired, and then remember where I am. As I open my eyes, I see Jordan and thankfulness for my partner in crime is echoed in my heart, I’m blessed to journey life with him. We walk down the creaky steps and my heart is warmed by the sight of AIM family, whether new or familiar faces. Thank you Abba for bringing us here, thank you for what You have in store, thank you for journeys, You are. So. Good….
